Saturday, March 19, 2005

The one with the latest confession

I have been too far from God lately. This is not something that pleases me. This is something that upsets me very, very, very much.

Any relationship, to be successful, requires both parties participate in this relationship, communicating, opening up to the requirements of the relationship, and basically not holding back from achieving the purpose of the relationship, which, in most cases, is the improvement or betterment of the other.

What keeps a person away from God?

1. Fear. Fear of being punished (despite the head knowledge that he is loved!), fear of disappointment, fear of never being good enough. This is Satan himself working his way in one's head, saying all these lies!

2. Shame/Guilt. The knowledge that we are sinners is already a given. However, we may still feel like we want to stay away because we're guilty.

3. Pride. Sometimes we're just too damn full of ourselves.

I'm guilty of all three. I have not listened to my God, and it is for this reason, like so many men before me, I stumble and fall. I imagine it is not easy for God to sit back and watch as one of his children purposely takes steps towards self-destruction.

There is a light, however, at the end of the proverbial tunnel. It's never too late. I'm tired of jumping from job to job. It's not for lack of goals; it's for lack of meaning! It's not for lack of resources or time; it's for lack of initiative! I'm so tired of pulling excuses, and failing to do good for my God! Whatever it is I end up doing, I will do it well because I represent my God!

I start fresh this Sunday at church, just in time for church camp this Wednesday. The theme is "All is Forgiven!", so it's quite appropriate.

May the name of the Lord be glorified.

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